Oh what a journey this is turning out to be. We had the first set of tests done on December 10th 2021. The next appointment was February 10th 2022. Now we have two days in April and two consults in May. I have still not been able to test as a Donor. The process is tedious and long and so very frustrating. I have never been through something that takes so long. We just want to get it done so Bobby can live a fuller, healthier and more normal life.
I understand some of this but it seems that it could be streamlined a bit. Having to bug them to get appointments is not a good way to handle the business. But we are in it for the long haul. We will get to the end goal!
If you know anyone that is on Dialysis you know what a toll it takes on the body and mind. Yes it is life sustaining but as time goes on the quality of that life goes down. Many of these people have multiple health issues and their best option is to get a transplant. But not everyone can qualify to receive a transplant for a multitude of reasons. I was not aware that if you cannot show financial ability to pay for the life long anti rejection drugs then you could be turned down. This was not going to be a problem for us.
However, on May 17th 2022, Bobby passed away. He did not make it to the last 2 appointments. I am heartbroken and relieved that he is no longer suffering. I just wish we could have made it through the process. I know that this is God’s plan and I am ok with it. He was my love and life for so many years and we did so much together. I will miss him but I will not miss watching him be miserable and in pain. I start on a new journey and I will be here for my kids, grandkids and all my family and friends. I will be fine, I know how to take care of myself. I have the support that I need at anytime.
This is not what I would have chosen for the remaining years of my life. I wanted to retire, to travel with my love and to grow old and cranky together. Not everyone is blessed to live long but we were blessed to live so fully and to do so many things. We lived well and I would not trade it for anything. Bobby touched many people and he was blessed to be loved by everyone who knew him. I am grateful for the 27+ we had together. I will miss him for the rest of my life.
It did bring our son back home for which I am eternally grateful. He has been a blessing to have with us and we can finally give him the support he has needed all these years. I thank the Lord everyday for the family and friends that support me through all the things still to come as I move through this year of firsts without my husband.
May you rest in peace until we meet again my love. See that we are all doing ok and we loved you more than you could ever know.
Melody Kool's Blog 