In a few short hours I will turn 60 years young. It is a milestone birthday that has brought so many memories flooding back to me over the past month. I don’t feel 60. I don’t know how that should even feel. This has been one of the hardest past years that I remember. I have been trying to declutter my house and a while back I found a birthday card from my mom. She wished I could spend my birthday with her so she could bake me the heart shaped strawberry cake she would do for me every year. I cried so hard. I wish I had gone home on my birthday a few times but I never did, plus it was always during work closings and it was hard for me to take off work, a word of advice, never ever put work over family. All those years, 32 to be exact got me no where but laid off.
I am taking vacation for the second time ever on my birthday tomorrow. The first was when I turned 40. It will be a day of quiet reflection, doing some things for myself and getting a few things done I have been working on for almost 2 years now.
I miss my mom and dad. I miss getting together with my family here and back home. I wish I could go and meet my new found sisters. I wish I could give my kidney to my husband now. I wish COVID had never happened. But wishes are not reality and I know that I can only do what I can do.
The thing is, I have had this awesome life that I had no idea would come to me. I have gotten to do things that not everyone has been lucky enough to do. I can say I would not change a thing about the life I have had, it has been such a blessing with so much goodness and mercy and I would not trade it for anything. Oh make no mistake, I have been through the fire and struggled and didn’t know how I was going to feed my children at times but God watched over us and always provided. I spent about a year having popcorn and a Coke for lunch at work to have money for dinner that night. We had a lot of frozen pizza and kids meals but we survived. If not for the trials, I would not have the empathy I possess today.
I was blessed to have the absolute best family that chose me. And now I have even more extended family that I have been blessed with and cherish more than anything in this world. I choose not to regret the mistakes I have made as they are forever a part of me. They are what has helped me to grow. I still have a lot more growing to do as we never are complete until God takes us Home.
I have always been driven to try to do as much as I can to move through my career and be able to get what we want as much as what we need and I have been blessed to be able to do this. We focused on the children first, then ourselves and now it is all about the grand kids! They are the most awesome thing to experience! Funny thing was I planned to be a career woman and not necessarily a mom. God had other plans and I am so glad that he did.
I have lived to see a black man become US President and a woman of color become Vice President. I hope that this will bring the real changes needed for our country. I cannot wait to see what other history will be made in my time!
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