Oh where to begin, I worked for the same company for 34 years. That however never mattered when it came down to the company “cutting costs”. I grew up in a time when companies and employees had an actual relationship, loyalty on both sides. Today we live in a world of ever changing jobs.
Now I have the opportunity to look for work, or pursue early retirement. It was unexpected and sudden but just another aspect of the changing economy. A part of me wanted to retire from the company I spent my whole career at but I have had that taken away. Accpeting another major life changing event can be intimidateing and scary but I am ready to embrace this new challenge, and see where things go from here.
Taking some time to look at where I am and where I want to go is a luxery that I have not been able to do. I was embracing change at work all the time, but this is very different. Not having a routine and trying to figure out a routine that I want to establish is challenging. So much of my time was dictated by my job and the hours I worked, now I have all this time and not a clue what to do with it.
I am so fortunate to have a good package that allows me to take my time and look at different things that I can pursue. Thankfully, I still have 2 jobs to keep up with for my Roller Derby Team which does help me schedule my time. And I admit that I have had trouble with motivation, from a bit of depression and missing the people I worked with and just plain missing the routine of going to work every day.
I am doing a lot of thinking, reflecting and meditating. I have skills and I am still very capable of contributing and I like the money I make, but I also want to enjoy my grand children. Help out my children and husband and maybe do something I never thought of doing before. How cool would that be, something new and scary. Being an accountant by trade, I am ultra concervative and taking chances and risk are totally foriegn to me so that will take some thought and overcoming fear of failure and success.
I sort of knew this would be like going through the stages of grief but it was surprising to me how much it felt like grieving. Loosing my father in law and my dad were the closest people to me and this has been almost as difficult. I honestly don’t miss the work, I am more agitated that the decision was not mine to make. Not taking it personal is the hardest thing I have had to accept. It is almost like I need someone to blame, not an entitiy or circumstances or the economy. It is disconcerting to realize that you are totally replaceable.
I have also been on the other side of these circumstances. I have survived countless layoffs over all the years that I have worked so I am thankful that it came at time when it is not hardship and I can still pay my bills. In the end all will be provided for and that is not a worry so, my short term goal is to embrace the time off, do things I said I would do if I didn’t have to work and live life to the fullest!!