Roller Derby – Joy & Pain

Hey everyone, it has been a while but I have been moved to write some more. This probably will sound all preachy and negative but it is only intended to bring things to our attention and to consider our own behaviors within the context of a roller derby league and team mates.

I have been doing this roller derby thing for 6 years now.  I have played, I have studied the rules and the players, I have watched more games than I will ever play in.

It is in my nature to study and observe people and I am driven to teach what I know.  I usually take the backseat quiet position and observe, to learn things.  Roller derby is a team sport where you have to communicate verbally.  That was the single hardest thing for me to overcome.  In my fresh meat days, I got yelled at a lot for not talking.  I was scared I would say something wrong, or sound stupid.  However, I have recently been informed that I am negative.  I was surprised by this, but as someone who is constantly working on myself I have to consider that something I do causes me to appear negative and I will definitely work on this.

In the mean time to all my league mates, if you have felt this from me I apologize and would appreciate letting me know when I am being negative so that I can better correct this behavior.

I am definitely not a great player, and I am so much older than all of my league but I have knowledge and I have observations that I want to pass on to those who can play so much better, to help them and not cause them pain or make them feel bad.  I might not be able to do a skill but I can see what others are doing and help with what I see, but it seems that this is not being received in the context that is intended and there is probably something wrong with my delivery.  I have studied and am still studying coaching as this was something that I have considered doing as I won’t be able to play at the high level our league is aspiring to, and roller derby needs coaches.  I obviously need to learn more.

If we do not communicate with each other on the track, we will not learn and progress and that is just as much for me as it is for others.  I need feedback too, there are only a couple of people who tell me things I can do better, I by far need just as much coaching as the next person.  I acknowledge that I will never be a stand out player but I want the league to succeed and have standout TEAM and be on the sidelines cheering them on to all the victories.  Our All Star team needs our support.  Everyone is important to our success and growing and we all need to take a little time to get know each other.  Inclusion is the key, we migrate to our own comfort zones whether it is with our bestie on the team or keeping to ourselves, we all have the desire to be accepted but we all have to be willing to be accepting.

We are all quick to encourage and lift up our freshies but vets need this also.  It is easy to get behind someone we see potential in getting them “all star” ready however, not everyone is going to be this and those others need just as much encouragement and to feel like a part of the league.  There are many many roles to be filled for a successful league and everyone should acknowledge and embrace all of these roles and the people doing them.  There is no rule that says you have to like everyone or be buddies with everyone, but everyone deserves respect and inclusion.

Hopefully this will cause people to think about these things.

 

 

So you wanna be a blocker… — Khaos Theory Derby

Let’s just admit it: Hitting people is fun. Blockers have the task of creating unbreakable defense while assisting their jammer through packs of unbreakable defense. Blockers must have their head on a swivel, legs of granite, and the mind of a mathematician. Blocking is more than “Look! A star. I hit them now.” How can […]

via So you wanna be a blocker… — Khaos Theory Derby

Happy New Year It’s 2016

Spent a quite new years eve at home with my hubby and football on the TV.  Don’t have a desire to go out in the craziness anymore and that makes the hubs very happy.  He cooked the blackeyed peas and we shared a bottle of Asti.  Barely made it to midnight though because I had to work and was up at 5 am.

I have spent some of the holidays reflecting, regretting, and resolving things with my life.  I am realigning my priorities and taking steps back on activities that have been in direct conflict with family.  I have taken a complete break from my roller derby during the holidays and it will start back up on Monday.

I know that it has consumed an enormous part of my time over the last couple of years as I have volunteered for multiple positions and worked very hard to become a better player.  I am still working hard to be the best athlete I can be by working with a trainer and working on my nutrition.

I have tryouts tonight (Jan 11) and am ready to hit is as hard as I can.  I do not have other duties so I can focus on my try out, my game, and performing to the best of my ability.  Regardless of the outcome I am very happy with how I have progressed these past 6 years.  I will be trying to make the travel team and a home team but will be happy with where ever I land.  The home teams are new for this season and it is an exciting year for my league.  We have new people, new leadership and lots of awesome things to show the public this year.

I will be inviting everyone to come out and watch me and my teams play.  It is family friendly and lots of fun to watch, so I hope to see you there!

 

Moving Forward

Pictures say so much.  I have an awesome new camera that I am determined to learn how to use and capture life as it is happening.  These are just a few from Christmas eve and Christmas day of my family.  After a very trying and emotional year I am moving forward.  I have survived the loss of my job, cancer hitting close to home in our family and continued health concerns with my husband…but God has prevailed.

There is always someone who has it worse, lost more or did not survive the year.  Learning to be completely thankful for what I have, has been a life long struggle, but here we are heading into another year with new promises on the horizon and new jobs, better health and oh so many possibilities.

This journey has been been totally awesome with many many more awesome things to come.  Watching your children grow up and their children grow and getting older and older by the minute.  Time waits for no one.

Gramps and I took the 2 oldest grand daughters to see The Nutcracker and I think the adults that went enjoyed it more and than anyone else.  But exposing the children to the Arts is educational and fun.  They will remember this for a long time.

In another week we start up another year of our Roller Derby Team (Yellow Rose Derby Girls).  Now we have the opportunity to try out for All Stars and 3 home teams.  I am super excited to be part of this league and to see the growth and success we are having.  This chapter is slowly coming to its natural conclusion as well.  It has been one hell of a ride!

This me when I first started roller derby and me now…

Life’s Milestones

Life is so full of changes, disappointments, challenges, and successes.  My daughter has experienced another of life’s milestones by graduating from college and looking for a job as a Teacher.  She chose a profession that doesn’t pay big in monetary ways but will give her more satisfaction and feeling of accomplishment than she knows yet.  Teachers should be our hero’s along with those who serve our country.  Melissa is both of these.  She served in the Army and stuck it out even when it was hard.  She came back changed in many ways, a lot not so good but she is my hero.

Becoming a teacher was a childhood dream that she finally embraced and has become among many hardships but with the support of her family and friends.  I hope and pray that the parents of this generation learn to appreciate the teachers of our future and support them with honor and respect.

I am so very proud of all my children who have grown up and are learning to become the adults we hope and pray for them.  Regardless of the path they have chosen, it is their path and their life to live.  I just hope that they understand that life will still be full of disappointments and challenges that they will need to work through and overcome.  But, the accomplishments will outweigh these and that is what they need to focus on.

It is impossible to convey just how proud my husband and I are of these young adults.  We take such pleasure in celebrating their successes and will continue to do so for as long as we a part of this world.

Bless all of the teachers, and military for their service and sacrifice.  May they never be forgotten.DSC_0024

Life can Suck

I just have to start out by saying that I have been so very blessed and I have an awesome family and friends that are always there for me.  But sometimes things occur that make you feel like life just sucks.

We have had our share of dissappointments, job and health issues and now, after living in our house since 1996 we get flooded.  We are so very lucky that it was an inch of water on our lowest level of a split level house.  The reality of having to suck up the water, clean and throw out endless piles of junk is a daunting task.  Just one more thing on the list of challenges we have faced since September of last year.

It is so petty to complain, and feels childish and not relevant but it is a natural part of human nature.  I allow myself to go through these emotions and anxieties so I can move forward and be thankful for all that I have.  Dealing with an anxiety disorder and bouts of depression, I have learned that it is normal to go through difficult times and that they do not have to destroy you.  Doing this is one of my outlets, that I hope helps others as well as helping me to navigate these trying times.

With so many things happening in this world today and so many people not able to deal with their mental health issues, I feel I have to speak out with my own struggles.  There is so much help out there for anyone who will seek it out.  Everyday brings you a new chance to move forward, to get help and to feel better. For some unfathomable reason we have been taught that asking for help makes you weak and pathetic, but in reality it takes immense strength to recognize you need help and the courage to ask for it. 

How well do you know your closest friends, do you know the struggles they go through or are you only concerned with what you get out of the relationship?  We so easily pass judgement and worry about ourselves so much we forget to have concern for our friends and family.  When was the last time you asked someone if they ok and waited or pressed for the real answer?  When was the last time you shared your struggle with someone that cares?  I know I have failed at this many times and I resolve to be and do better.  What will you do?

My daughter and son in law are going thru a medical crisis and they are doing so well, accepting help because it takes a village to make
it thru a crisis.  I am so very proud of them and their little family.  I am so blessed to be able to help out and just be there for them when needed.  It has helped me overcome some of my own struggles just to see their strength.  I believe I am here to help others and let others help me.  I sincerely hope that this is a help to someone out there that needs it.

God Bless
Kool

Faith vs Fear

So very much has happened since my last post.  My family is the single most important thing in my life and we found out that our son-in-law Scott was diagnosed with Germinona. Germinoma is the name for about a dozen types of tumors that arise in the pineal gland area of the brain. Pineal tumor  typically experience a buildup of fluid within the brain, causing headaches, nausea and impaired vision.  He has completed Chemo and will be getting radiation.

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Our daughter, Melinda, has worked hard to keep up with Katelynn (4) and Justin (1), the house, work, going back and forth to the medical center for treatments and has just been a super woman.  This week we got the good news that the tumor has shrunk very small and an end to Chemo.  This family has had undying faith amid the overwhelming fear.

She has had support from amazing family members and friends because it truly takes a village to keep things going when your world has been turned upside down.  Even though we have good news the bills are still coming and even with insurance the cost of the treatments are daunting.  But she and her little family have kept the faith, and moving through the crisis with grace, love and lots of support.

This is not the only medical crisis to come to my family and it is so overwhelming at times to deal with just the daily things, let alone the many Drs, bills and paperwork.  So far this years has been a test of faith and perseverance.  I was laid off, early this year, along with the medical issues in my family and when I did go back to work I felt guilty because I could and I found a job.

I don’t know the reason for the hardships we have endured since this time last year, but I still believe that beyond this will be many good things to come.  It may be in a manner in which we did not expect but, there is still work to be done.  The fear will not overtake us and this too shall pass.