Reflections

It’s almost new years eve, it’s been a year of loss, challenges, health issues and some really blessed time. I start a journey back to school for my MBA. I have stepped back from leadership in roller derby and I have been able to meet my birth father and a sister I never knew I had. I got to spend some quality time with my mom before she passed and with my brother and his family. I wasn’t here for Harvey, which is best as my compromised immune system could have made me very sick. And knowing me I would have been out trying to help all my friends. 

I want to start 2018 better than this year and so far so good as I’m not in the hospital! I have renewed ambitions and lots of goals. My job situation is unknown but I’m leaving that in God’s hands. 

I miss my mom and it makes me miss my dad more too. Since my sister and bio dad live in Oklahoma I don’t get to visit them as much as I would like either. Traveling is more complicated so I stay close to home more than I might if I was younger. I miss seeing my brother and spending time with all of them.

I will spend new years with my family here and that is so awesome to have them close. I remember being excited and scared to move away from my home town but I have made Houston my home. I wish other family was closer but it just means I have places to visit and must plan trips in the near future. I will embrace life to is fullest no matter what comes my way. I am here to live, love and grow. 

To all of my family, wherever you all, I love you and pray for you daily and one day I will see you in person! 

To all of my friends, who are also my family, I love you all and appreciate you more than you will ever know!

Thank you all for being there with your strength and encouragement so I can move thru the hard times and celebrate the good ones! May the new year being you tidings of great joy! 

Until next year, love and peace be with you! 

Melody Kool

AKA Gina White 

AKA Melody Stanford

November 3rd

23316805_10213651896387198_4324624497580321386_nToday mom passed peacefully into the next realm. It was expected, but never ready for it to actually happen. I have been visiting her at my brother’s houseĀ as often as possible. We were there last weekend. She was a 2 time breast cancer survivor, but lymphoma in her lungs was too much for her to fight. She chose not to have treatment as it would be worse on her than the disease she would be fighting. She was also 84 and Dr.’s did not recommend treating her.

I am sad for me and my family as we will miss her so very much. I know that she is at peace and with her mom and my dad. I am at work this day, and will be on my way to be with my family real soon. I have a giant swing in emotions because I am so grateful that she is not suffering anymore and it makes me feel somewhat guilty. I just hated watching her suffer and not be able to do anything. She is off to join my dad and all the others that have moved on and I know she is happy.

She was an angel, caring for my dad after his stroke for so many years. It was a tough time but it never occurred to her to leave. She was strong in her faith and made sure my brother and I knew God.

As I continue to work through the loss and all of the other changes in my life at this time, I am reminded that life here is short and to do everything I possible can to live life it to its fullest. The worst and some of the coolest things have happened this year. I am ready for a fresh start to a new year and tackle all the challenges that come along. I will remember the good times and connect with my brother and his family more. I want to visit my cousins and reconnect with my dad’s side of the family too. So much to do, so little time.

Holiday’s are hard when a loved one is lost and you never know what someone is going through unless they choose to share. Be kind, have empathy, stop hating, and love others as you are loved by your God. My heart is so sad and I am so blessed to have my family and friends to lean on and help me cope with the grieving process.

I wish everyone Joy and Peace in this season.

Until I see you again, Mom!

Gina